I can assure you that I did not come up with that title. Here I was in my prayer chair with my insomnia keeping me company, talking to God. I’ve been in a lot of turmoil as of late and I think this is His way of addressing it by turning my mind back to Him and our relationship which I can only describe as unique. But before you answer the question yourself, just spend a bit of time thinking about it. Truthfully, I would never talk about my private relationship with Him but for some reason I had to write about it. I have no idea why but He does. So here it goes.
I can affirm that He has been with me since birth beause I was born dead and rushed to the hospital where I was revived. But I know there is only One Person with the power of resurrection and that is way above any doctor’s pay grade. Even as a child I was drawn to church and used to go to Saint Killian’s. At one point I wanted to be a nun. Then in high school I wanted to convert to Judaism and thank God I didn’t. But God was there because I’d never have those thoughts unless He was present. I just didn’t know, at that time, how to have a relationship with Him. And I surely didn’t know, in detail, about any other Christian religion. I knew of them but not what they believed. Not until much later in life.
No one knows of my private relationship with Him because I keep it close to my chest. There were times when I went off and did my own thing. That was later in my twenties and thirties. That’s so long ago now that I can barely remember that life. What I do remember are all the private times with God. Times when I was off in the forest by myself, having driven down some logging road off Route 260. I would drive up there in my Dodge Dakota that I loved and spend time with Him alone. One night I tried to stay up on the mountain all night. I tried to sleep in my truck with the window cracked a little for air. But the night sounds were scary. I’m almost sure there was a bobcat or a mountain lion lurking around, judging by the sounds I was hearing and the rustling of branches in some bush.
Freaked out, I eventually left. On the way down I saw a deer standing in the middle of the road. A little while later, I pulled over, got out and sang out loud to the Lord while staring up at the night sky with arms raised. “Jesus, you are my Reward, to see Your Face on that day is all I’m living for. Jesus, you are my Reward, to hear Your Voice on that day is all I’m living for. Jesus…you’re all I’m living for.” (I don’t remember who wrote that song or who sang it back then.)
Well I got back into my truck and drove back to Camp Verde where I was living with my son, David. I quietly let myself into his house and went to bed.
When I was in college I had to design a book in my 2D design class. The instructor was from some Scandanavian country and used to persecute me. My book was “Life with my Father, God.” I did a lot of work in Photoshop creating all sorts of fun pages for it. On one occasion I had gone outside into the parking lot of the college and took a picture of the town of Sedona in the distance. I used that picture, creating storm clouds and lightning. I flooded the entire town and put an image of God that I got from the book I had on the movie, “The Passion of the Christ” standing on top of the turbulent water with a picture of me as tiny child standing alongside Him as He protected me. Yeah, I was standing on the water, too. The persecution got to be so bad (she was constantly telling me to redo my work, among other things.) that one of the students, a girl from Australia, lost her temper and yelled at the instructor to leave me alone.I was shocked and so were the other students but they thought it was pretty good that the instructor got told off. She was not very well liked. I got an A in the class. I don’t have the pages of that book anymore. It might be on the hard drive of my old computer. It was supposed to be made into a hard covered book but for some reason Apple would not accept the file and so I never got it made. (the computers we used were Macs and the program to turn the pages into a book was done with some Mac app at that time.)
There are many more but too numerous to list here. It would make this post way too long. I don’t take any credit for my relationship with Him. It’s all God.
Anyway, if you feel your relationship with God is not so good, it is never, never too late to connect with Him. I have a feeling this post is meant for someone out there that He wants to reach and reassure them of His love.
Anyway, be blessed and stay safe.